Women's College 101

You've made the decision to go to an all women's college. You don't know if you'll make it out alive.  You can sulk, think it is the biggest mistake of your life, and transfer. Or you can make the best of it. Some friendly tips for the road ahead... 

1. Keep your high school male friends close.  If you havent brought them along/aren't in the same city anymore, chances of making platonic male friends are really slim to none. Once you let out of your mouth that you go to an all girl's school, the brain wave that is supposed to mark you as 'friend' (or anything else besides 'wife' or 'sex' for that matter), does not seem to exist in a male's head.

2.  Leave your nice clothes at home. Besides the occasional weekend outing, your days at school will be a repeat of the same free-tshirts and sweat pants. Trust me, this is one of the biggest perks of single sex education. Enjoy it while you can.

3.  You will gain weight, deal with it. The freshmen 15, we've all heard it, but at a girl's school be prepared to round up. When you aren't drowning your repressed sorrows on the buffet breakfast, lunch, and dinners, you are binge drinking and alcohol is a gold mine of hidden calories. 

4. Make friends with workers on campus, in the dining halls etc. When you need an outlet, a friendly lift across campus, to get out of trouble with campus po, some food after hours or the WD-40 for your squeaky bed... it's easier with a friend on the inside. 

5. Be prepared to become close to your girlfriends. Very. Close. You will probably make out with most if not all of your close girl friends, be it a party trick when boys come onto campus, or the next best thing on those drunken, hazy nights. So when you wake up half naked in a pile of your closest girlfriends, wondering what happened the night before, dont fret.  Just accept and move on with life.

6. Your monthly cycle may be irregular. The overload of estrogen is a given. Be prepared for strong hormonal pulls. 

7. Warn your boyfriend before you first bring him to school. If there is a male within a 300 ft radius, all eyes will be on him. Not necessarily in a good way, (even if he is hot and other girls are checking him out), it will mostly likely be a death glare of jealousy. 

8. Be prepared for the amount of 'sketch' that comes to parties that your school throws. Two words that come to a guy's mind when mentioning a party at an all girl's school. Guaranteed ass. Yep. So don't get so trashed that you can't tell the difference between nerds, assholes, or pure creeps.  Chances are you will encounter all three of these categories, and sadly, there is no best choice.  Ask a friend for help if you cant decide whether you want to wake up with whatever is on your arm. 

9  You will need to learn to be extremely politically correct. Everything that comes out of your mouth will be liable to offend someone, somehow.  Learn to be tactful and what topics never to bring up around certain people.  You will appreciate the amount of hate mail that does not spam your inbox. 

10.  Go abroad or on an exchange program for at least a semester. Self explanatory, gain back some of the social skills you have lost. When you are checking out everything from your friend's 14 year old brother to grandpa in line at starbucks... you know it's time.

11. Attend as many events as possible. You'll never know what you'll find enjoyable, expand your interests, learn about current events and issues, help out, and milk your school for all their wine, cheese, hors d'oeuvres are worth. 

12.  Keep an open mind. As many drawbacks as it seems to have, an all women's education, when utilized correctly can be quite powerful.  It's your chance to develop a new perspective on life, society, the world.  Everybody who complains and moans during their time at women's schools cannot help but admit the smidge of nostalgia, (no matter how big or little), when they look back on their time.  You can always say that you have had a truly unique college experience.  And what you can accomplish with it in the future is up to you. 

*Disclaimer: This piece is not meant to offend any persons who may have had different interpretations of the women's college experience. It is simply a satirical, personal glance regarding the insights of one student among many*