How to Mentally Flip the Bird

How many times a day does some obnoxious jerk interfere with the harmony of your life.  Whether you're walking down the sidewalk, driving down the street, sitting at your desk, or enjoying a lovely day at the park; people will inevitably interject rudeness.  The idiot who throws his McDonalds cup on the ground when there is a garbage can ten feet away.  The jerk who farts in the elevator.  The loser who parks his car in two spots.  Is it worth confronting these individuals, risking the possibility of physical retaliation. Maybe they're having a bad day?  It is instances like these which have spawned "The Mental Birdie." 

Step 1:  Imagine extending your arm in the direction of the targeted individual. 

Step 2:  Visualize your middle finger pointed proudly upward.

Step 3:  Make the face you would normally make when flipping someone off. 

The beauty of this little maneuver is that you can rest assured that you gave this person what they deserved.  However, you won't have to deal with this potentially unstable individuals reaction.  (WARNING: Individuals with psychic powers may respond differently).  No more road raged maniacs attempting to drive you off the road.  No more fist fights in the park.  No more waiters pouring hot coffee down the back of your blouse.  Just pure mental satisfaction. 

***CAVEAT: In a civilized society members must occasionally confront each other to preserve order.  This "Mental Birdie" technique is not suitable for all situations.  Sometimes a real "Birdie" is warranted.  Other times a verbal confrontation is called for.  On extreme occasions physical intervention may be necessary.  The "Mental birdie" is perfect for those times when you can rest assured that life will plague the targeted individual's existence with misfortune and misery.  Is getting flipped off really worse than that?