100 Signs Your Internet Girlfriend is Really a Guy Messing With You

100 Signs Your Internet Girlfriend is Really a Guy

1.   She looks like a model/actress but is trying to meet guys online
2.   She's impressed by your Dungeons and Dragons character stats
3.   You never have plans on Friday and Saturday night
4.   She also doesn't have anything else to do on a Friday/Saturday night
5.   She thinks back hair is sexy
6.   You still live with your parents
7.   She thinks its cool you still live with your parents
8.   She never watches chick flicks
9.   In high school, she was a cheerleader
10.  In high school, you were president of the chess club
11.  All her friends say she looks like Jessica Alba
12.  She camped out for three days to buy Halo 3
13.  You work at McDonald's
14.  If you visit her myspace page, you can get a free ipod
15.  She thinks Justin Timberlake is overrated and not cute at all
16.  You've never had a girlfriend
17.  You're 35
18.  She's 18
19.  For Halloween, she's dressing as a Storm Trooper
20.  She prefers thoughtful home-made gifts to expensive jewelery
21.  She wants to have a threesome with you and her hot female friend
22.  All of her favorite shows are on the Sci-fi Network
23.  She thinks your stutter is charming
24.  She really wants to talk to you, but doesn't own a phone
25.  You can speak perfect Klingon
26.  She can speak perfect Klingon
27.  She can't wait to hear you do your Star Wars impressions
28.  She prefers her guys to be on the chubby side
29.  She loves playing World of Warcraft
30.  She liked Star Trek:The Next Generation, but loves Star Trek:Deep Space 9
31.  She thinks its funny when guys fart
32.  She wants to experiment with being a lesbian, but only if you watch
33.  She can't wait to tell you how to get a $50 gift card from Victoria's Secret
34.  She's read all of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, plus the Hobbit
35.  You play accordion
36.  She thinks accordion players are sexy
37.  All her friends say she looks like Britney Spears
38.  She's the only one who thinks you're funny
39.  Her favorite movie is Lord of the Rings
40.  She wants you to become a member to her private webcam
41.  She wishes Matthew McConaughey would just keep his shirt on
42.  She's looking forward to you teaching her how to play D&D
43.  She doesn't care if her boyfriends sleep around, as long as she can watch
44.  You work at Burger King
45.  You say "I love you" after a week of trading e-mails
46.  She replies "I love you, too"
47.  She thinks your lame pick-up lines are funny and original
48.  She was voted "Most Likely to Become a Trophy Wife" in high school
49.  You were voted "Most Likely to Die Alone" in high school
50.  She thinks acne scars are sexy
51.  She never watches soap operas
52.  You have long discussions about which is better: Star Trek or Star Wars
53.  She knows what a 12 sided die is
54.  She sometimes wishes she lived in Middle Earth
55.  If you visit her myspace page, you can get a free x-box 360
56.  She can't believe you don't have a girlfriend
57.  Before you met her, you cried yourself to sleep
58.  She thinks Marvel comics are way better than DC comics
59.  In high school, you were the captain of the Math League
60.  For Halloween, she's dressing as Optimus Prime
61.  She wishes she had a robot for a best friend
62.  She cried when the X-files was cancelled
63.  She doesn't mind if she doesn't have an orgasm, as long as you enjoyed yourself
64.  She's tired of Myspace, because they won't let her post any of her naughty pictures
65.  She thinks stretch marks are sexy
66.  All her friends say she looks like Jessica Simpson
67.  She never misses an episode of Battlestar Galactica
68.  She's a licensed masseuse
69.  She does a great William Shatner impression
70.  You both think Transformers were way better than Go-bots
71.  She loves watching pro-wrestling
72.  You repeatedly make plans to meet in crowded bars, but never manage to find each other
73.  She loves giving blowjobs
74.  She's never seen a Brad Pitt movie
75.  She can't wait to tell you how to make money at home by taking surveys
76.  For Halloween, she's dressing as 7 of 9
77.  She wants you to call her Bubba
78.  All her friends say she looks like Kendra Wilkinson
79.  She thinks your retainer is sexy
80.  She never watches talk shows
81.  You took notes during the Pick-up Artist
82.  She sends you naked pictures from the neck down, but her breast size and skin color keeps changing
83.  Her dog's name is Yoda
84.  You work at Taco Bell
85.  She thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen
86.  You met in a "How to fuck with people online" chat room
87.  In high school, you were in the marching band
88.  She bets you $10 that her penis is bigger than yours
89.  She camped out for five days for Star Wars Episode 1 tickets
90.  She uses 12 sided dice for ear rings
91.  After two months of e-mailing each other, she STILL doesn't have a phone
92.  She can't wait to tell you how to find out who views your profile
93.  She watches Stargate Atlantis
94.  She really wants to meet you in person, but can't because she's in the witness protection program
95.  All her friends say she looks like Cameron Diaz
96.  She's been waiting for a live-actions Transformers movie since she was ten
97.  Strangers frequently address you as hoss, big guy or lard ass
98.  Your parents think you're gay
99.  You're crying as you read this
100. You pissed me off

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