Clever Quick Word Puzzles

How many letter "F"s are there in this paragraph. 

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

The answer is ......... the number at the very end 12 51 5 4 3 1 9 21 6

(in case of accidentally reading it) 

This is because people usually accept "of" not as words but symbols. 

Figure out these hard word puzzles

Example

24 H in a D =

24 Hours in a Day


1. 26 L of the A
2. 7 D of the W
3. 7 W of the W
4. 12 S of the Z
5. 66 B of the B
6. 52 C in a P (W J)
7. 13 S in the U S F
8. 18 H on a G C
9. 39 B of the O T
10. 5 T on a F
11. 90 D in a R A
12. 3 B M (S H T R)
13. 32 is the T in D F at which W F
14. 15 P in a R T
15. 3 W on a T
16. 100 C in a D
17. 11 P in a F (S) T
18. 12 M in a Y
19. 13 is U F S
20. 8 T on an O
21. 29 D in F in a L Y
22. 27 B in the N T
23. 365 D in a Y
24. 13 L in a B D
25. 52 W in a Y
26. 9 L of a C
27. 60 M in an H
28. 23 P of C in the H B
29. 64 S on a C B
30. 9 P in S A
31. 6 B to an O in C
32. 1000 Y in a M

33. 15 M on a D M C

Answers

 
01- 26 L of the A- 26 Letters of the Alphabet
02- 7 D of the W -7 Days of the Week
03- 7 W of the W -7 Wonders of the World
04 -12 S of the Z -12 Signs of the Zodiac
05- 66 B of the B- 66 Books of the Bible
06- 52 C in a P (WJs) -52 Cards in a Pack (Without Jacks/Jokers)
07- 13 S in the U S F - 13 Stars in United States Flag

08 -18 H on a G C -18 Holes on a Golf Course
09- 39 B of the O T- 39 books of the Old Testament
10 -5 T on a F -5 Toes on a Foot
11- 90 D in a R A -90 Degrees in a Right Angle
12- 3 B M (S H T R) -3 Blind Mice See How They Run
13- 32 is the T in D F at which W F-32 is the Temperature in Degrees Farenheit at which Water Freezes
14- 15 P in a R T -15 Players in a Rugby Team
15- 3 W on a T- 3 Wheels on a Tricycle
16- 100 C in a D - 100 Cents in a Dollar
17 -11 P in a F (S) T -11 Players in a Football (Soccer) Team
18 -12 M in a Y -12 Months in a Year
19- 13 = U F S -13 = Unlucky For Some
20 -8 T on an O- 8 Tentacles on an Octopus
21 -29 D in F in a L Y -29 Days in February in a Leap Year
22- 27 B in the N T -27 Books in the New Testament
23 -365 D in a Y -365 Days in a Year
24 -13 L in a B D -13 Loaves in a Bakers Dozen
25 -52 W in a Y -52 Weeks in a Year
26- 9 L of a C -9 Lives of a Cat
27 -60 M in a H -60 Minutes in a Hour
28 -23 P of C in the H B-23 Pairs of Chromosones in the Human Body
29 -64 S on a C B -64 Squares on a Chess Board
30- 9 P in SA - 9 provinces in south africa
31 -6 B to an O in C -6 Balls to an Over in Cricket
32 -1000 Y in a M -1000 Years in a Millennium
33 -15 M on a D M C -15 Men on a Dead Mans Chest

Are you Predictable?

 
At the end of this message, you are asked a question. Answer it immediately. Don’t stop and think about it. Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.

This is a fun “test”… AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give it a try, then e-mail it around (including back to me) and you’ll see how many people you know fall into the same percentage as you.

Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%. You’ll understand what that means after you finish taking the “test.”

Now … just follow the instructions as quickly as possible.

Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one..

You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind.

You’ll be surprised.

Start:

How much is:

15 + 6

3 + 56

89 + 2

12 + 53

75 + 26

25 + 52

63 + 32

I know! Calculations are hard work, but it’s nearly over..

Come on, one more…

123 + 5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOR AND A TOOL!

Scroll further to the bottom…

A bit more…

You just thought about a red hammer, didn’t you?

If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a different, if not abnormal, mind.

98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise.

If you do not believe this, pass it around and you’ll see.

More Word Puzzles: Literal Thinking

1.    ------------              Answer: Man over board
          board

         stand
2.   ------------               Scroll down for answer!!!
           i

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/

4.    r
     road
      a
      d

5.   cycle
      cycle
      cycle

           0
6.    ------------
          M.D.
          Ph.D.

         knee
7.   ------------
          light

               ground
8.         ---------------
    feet feet feet feet feet feet

9.      he's / himself.

10.     ecnalg

11. death ..... life

12.  THINK

13.    ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb....

Answers

1. Ans. = man overboard

2. Ans. = I understand

3. Ans. = reading between the lines

4. Ans. = cross road

5. Ans. = tricycle

6. Ans. = two degrees below zero

7. Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)

8. Ans. = six feet underground

9. Ans. = he's by himself

10. Ans. = backward glance

11. Ans. = life after death

12. Ans. think big !!

13. Ans. long time no 'C' (see)

24 Questions of Comedian George Carlin

1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

4. What's another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do: 'practice'?

6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

8. Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all'?

9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

10. Why do they report power outages on TV?

11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

12. Is it possible to be totally partial?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

20. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Random Clever Quotes

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them." -George Bush Jr, US President

I love cats. They taste like chicken.

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hands.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.

There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? 

If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

In the long run we are all dead.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. 

There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.

-e-i-e-i-o is actually a gross misspelling of the word "farm."

Termites eat through wood 2 times faster when listening to rock music.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When a child asks you why it's raining, tell him because god is crying. When the child asks why god is crying, tell them it's because of something they did.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Midgets love skirts in crowded public locations.

If rainy and coffee taste like mud, it must be fresh ground.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

"I can picture in my mind a world without war
A world without hate. <br>
And I can picture us attacking that world,
Because they'd never expect it. " <br>
-jack handy

Dreams are like rainbows; only idiots chase them.

Always remember that you are unique; just like everybody else.

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Much work needs to be done... before we can announce our complete failure to make any progress.

The harder you try, the dumber you look when you screw up again.

If you can't learn to do something well, learn how to enjoy doing it poorly.

We taught him wrong so we could laugh at him later. -Kung Pow

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness pays off now.

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!?

Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Can you Pay Attention To Details?

 1. You are competing in a race and overtake the runner in second place. What Place are you? What place are you if you pass the last place runner?

2.  Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10.

3. Marie's father has five daughters:

1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ????

Who is the fifth daughter?

Answers:

1. Beating the second place runner replaces him. So second place. It's not possible to pass the last runner in the race, you'd have to be behind him but then you would be the last runner.

2. 4100, not 5000

3. Marie... 

Funny Responses on Student Exams

"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"
"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."
"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
"For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

I have funny student responses as pictures on my blog too. 

How much do you assume?

A father and son get in a car wreck. The father dies immediately but the son survives and is taken by ambulance. When taken to the hospital the doctor says, "I cannot operate on this patient, he is my son."

How is this possible? 

My Riddle

To see solution click here