2007-11-02T19:14:42-07:00

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2007-11-02T19:14:42-07:00

Dear Useless Men, What is it with men and dirty glasses? My boyfriend always has a foggy haze on his spectacles and it drives me crazy. What can I do about this other than whip them off his face, lick them clean, and wipe them on the corner of his shirt? Sincerely, Hoping I'm not that ugly. . . Dear Hoping, When I was a kid, I TOTALLY wanted a pair of those dirty glasses! Okay, so maybe I was too young to get the point of seeing through a woman's dress, but how cool would it have been to see the bones of my hand? REALLY cool, that's how cool! <A href="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/JPTH/BLOG/USELESSMEN/med_xray_specs.jpg" target=_blank><IMG alt="If you NEED glasses to read this, click the picture for a larger version." hspace=10 src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y6/JPTH/BLOG/USELESSMEN/sm_xray_specs.jpg" align=right vspace=10></A> Of course, there were a lot of neat-o things on the back of comic books that I wanted so badly. Like a joy-buzzer. Because, naturally, as a kid, I shook a lot of hands and NO ONE would see it coming. Or that exploding gum! A 10-year-old boy handing out gum in an unrecognizable package for free isn't suspicious in the least. Oh! And I REALLY wanted one of those books that would teach me how to kick sand in the faces of scrawny guys at the beach! Sadly, I didn't have a paper route to fund such purchases. My meager allowance went straight into Pac-Man and Donkey Kong the day I got it, and, being Canadian, I would have probably had to pay 4 times the actual value of those comic book treasures just to get them across the border. But enough about me... Before jumping to any conclusions about your boyfriend, I strongly suggest you watch him closely when he's wearing his dirty glasses. Does he stare at you a lot and drool? Does he walk around with his hand in front of his face? If so, I'd say you just let him have his fun. Now, if you catch him attending a lot of field hockey games with the glasses on, or if he takes a sudden interest in woman's restroom doors, I'd get those bad boys off his face as soon as possible. But try to avoid licking them. That could set a precedent that won't be easy to live up to… Sincerely, Useless Intern Feel free to send your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men without the burden of prize winning expectations! Click <A href="mailto:uselessadvice@hotmail.com">here</A>. Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click <A href="http://www.feedblitz.com/f/?Sub=14192" target=_blank>here</A>. 12352

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2007-11-02T19:17:39-07:00