We're going to take it down to basics. I'm tired of everyone always using the "I can't even boil water" excuse when describing their culinary talents. If you know someone who does that, then refer them to this blog in the future.
First, you need to find water. If you're indoors, go to the kitchen (this is the room without furniture and has the big cold box you keep your food in). You should see a sink. Turn one of the knobs and water should come out....if it doesn't, you need to call a plumber; that's out of my area of expertise. We'll assume your sink is fine.
OR
If you're outdoors you have a few options: 1) You can wait for it to rain....but that could take awhile and I don't recommend it. 2) You can look for a pond, lake or stream. 3) Check your supplies....chances are somebody packed some water for you. 4) If you're just in your backyard, go inside and read the above paragraph.
Now, you need something to put your water in. You'll want something that can support the weight of the water without breaking or collapsing and will not melt in the fire. Chances are you have some pots which would be perfect for this. Since you're reading this, its safe to assume those pots are still in the box you purchased/received them in....I'll wait for you to open them.
Welcome back! I know your pans are shiny, but try not to get too distracted. Now, put the water into the pot. You want to stop adding water when the pot is about half full. Congratulations....you're almost there.
Next we need heat. Fire is a good source, but might lead to the destruction of your home. Let's use the oven. Put the pot with water onto one of the burners. Those are the round, swirly things on top of your oven...you may have seen people light their cigarettes off of them before. Besides being a really big lighter, they double as a cooking tool. Now that your pot is on the burner, turn the burner on. Don't be alarmed, the burner should be getting hot and turning red.
Now we wait. First, you're going to see some steam coming off of the water. Don't get too excited....its not boiling yet, we need more time. When bubbles start rising from the bottom of the pot, then you can get excited. Feel free to dance about the room. Congratulations! You've just boiled water. For more information on what do with that water, read some of the recipes on Spongefish. Be careful not to burn yourself.
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