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How to tick people off

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No, YOU!
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lulz

From http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/how_to_tick_people_off.shtml

 

  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  18. Honk and wave to strangers.
  19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  21. type only in lowercase.
  22. dont use any punctuation either
  23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  27. Ask people what gender they are.
  28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  30. Sing along at the opera.
  31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

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  • Published Jan. 24, 2008
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  1. Default Photo

    kunalp00 at 3:49pm on Apr. 6, 2008

    about 1 year ago

    Delete

    another way u can tick people off is every time someone says something like a fact of what not say "Nobody cares"
    P.S.
    Thanks for the free education page it very help full
    Reply...

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  2. Photo of me that I rotoscoped...getting better

    Malcolm at 12:46pm on Apr. 4, 2008

    about 1 year ago

    Delete

    when some has there blinker on and wants to merge.....speed up.....don't let them merge....FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T LET THEM MERGE! oh i just typed in all caps does that make me annoying oh all lower case and no punctuation ok i am doing it on purpose but its fun. Another good entry by Jimmy R. Reply...

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  3. Michael on Alcatraz2.JPG

    Michael Neril at 12:09pm on Jan. 24, 2008

    about 1 year ago

    Delete

    Don't forget to also ask "Do you take cash" when paying for fast food at the drive through -- that always seems to miff people! Reply...

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