The President waved hi to me. Was he high?

President Bush paid an unusual visit to the San Francisco Bay Area on Wednesday.  It is unusual because Bush has kept intact his record of never visiting San Francisco during his presidency. Instead, he flew into San Francisco International Airport late in the afternoon and went by motorcade to Hillsborough, where he dropped by a dinner for the Republican National Committee.  Both these locations are in San Mateo County which is directly south of San Francisco County.

The President has plenty of reasons not to ever set foot inside the city of San Francisco. Republican Presidents have not had the best of luck while visting the city by the bay.  President Harding died of a heart attack in the Palace Hotel in 1923.  The last Republican President to visit was President Ford in 1975 which ended in an unsuccessful assassination attempt by Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, a member of Charlie Manson's "family".  In contrast, Clinton visited the city 23 times while in office.

As a result I was shocked to hear on the radio yesterday at 4pm that Air Force One would be landing at 4:30 and the President would have a dinner in nearby Hillsborough.  Hillsborough is a small town frequently described as tony which I guess is a nice way to say it's full of lots of rich people.  I called the Hillsborough Police Department to see if there were any recommended locations to view the motorcade.  They had no clue (or more likely weren't sharing) and suggested I call the Secret Service and ask them.  Since that sounded like the beginning of something that could end in a long evening with lots of questions under bright lights or my getting another star next to my name (not the good kind), I decided to go see if I could find the party without help.

There is really only one place where it could be.  The 65,000-square-foot Château Carolands was built by the Pullman Car heiress, Harriett Pullman, and her husband, Frank Carolan, between 1912 and 1916 but they both moved out in 1917 and separated in a time-honored tradition of post-construction break-ups that have plagued rich white guys for centuries.  It has 100+ rooms and is reported to be the largest home in the Western United States (they have a much more robust history of robber barons on the east coast).  During the 60's it was considered by Jack Kennedy as a possible Western White House and again during the Reagan administration.  Unfortunately neither of these happened and for much of the last 30 years it stood unoccupied. 

It was a place where teen-agers snuck around, drank beer and threw rocks right up until 1985 when two young women were lured into the house by the security guard.  One of them was murdered and the other was the victim of medieval torture.  The former guard is currently on death row having avoided the big sleep for 20+ years.  Needless to say that put an end to kid's sneaking around the place.  It has changed hands numerous times until it was purchased by the current owners 5 years ago.

It was purchased by Charles Johnson, chairman of Franklin Templeton Investments.  According to Forbes Magazine, he is the 137th richest guy in the world and is worth a reported $5.6 Billion.  He attended Yale as did the President where the President was a member of The Skull and Bones Society (aka The Brotherhood of Death).  He and his wife, Anne, have lovingly restored this white elephant to its original splendor to the tune of about $20 million.  That's an awful lot of trips to Home Depot and Ikea.

Armed with this information, I headed in the direction of the place via Highway 280 (The Jumipero Serra Freeway, "The Most Beautiful Freeway in the World") and as soon as I exited at Black Mountain Road, I knew I guessed correctly.  There were 10+ CHP and Hillsborough Police cars at one big intersection blocking all the roads going into Hillsborough.  I drove up to one of the cops and asked him if the motorcade was coming this way.  He said he couldn't say but I could park my car if I wanted.  I said why would I want to park my car here if the motorcade wasn't coming this way.  He said the same thing again.  I decided that he was trained to resist all forms of torture to prevent disclosing seemingly harmless information so he wasn't going to crumble under my fierce cross-examination.  So I assumed that he was giving me a wink-wink and the President was coming right by this intersection any minute.

I quickly parked at the end of about 6 cars already parked and walked back to the intersection.  It was 4:20 at this point.   With Coast Guard helicopters circling overhead and police chattering away on their radios, I got distracted wondering if the President was firing up a fat one before the big party.  Just at that point, 6 big black SUV’s with all kinds of weird antennas on the roof (Satellite Radio?), an ambulance, a fleet of police cars and about 8 CHP on motorcycles (with matching sunglasses) roared not 6 feet from me as I stood all by myself on the sidewalk.  The motorcade with lights flashing was a mere 6 feet from me.  I scanned each car as it flew by but it was like trying to see the driver's face in a NASCAR race.  They seemed to be in a real hurry.  And then I saw him!

Oh my God, he looked right at me (ME!) and waved.  Was that a blunt in his other hand?  It sounded like the thump-thump of some serious sounds coming from his vehicle.  Was it Method Man?

It was later reported that the fundraising dinner was attended by more than 100 people and raised $1.5 million for the Republican National Committee.  That's $15,000 per head.  I'll bet they didn't serve pizza and beer.  Maybe they barbecued some swine.