2008-02-21T11:52:04-08:00

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1. Night time will never be the same again. Sleep is a joke.  You'll just "rest your eyes"   2. Poop and Pee will become interesting subject-matter for any and all conversations   3. Your child, be it boy or girl, will be able to hit the furthest wall with his or her stream of urine - a superpower evident shortly after birth.   4. No matter how many times you have burped your baby, he or she will always spit up - usually 2x the amount they have consumed   5. You will secretely hate anyone who looks well-rested and organized yet wish that some celebrity would make-over your life   6. You will think that you are going insane after just 1 week of minimal sleep and wonder how the armed forces ever make it through hell-week.   7. You will suddenly realize why some animals eat their young and thank God your baby is too cute to eat   8. TiVo will become vital, ensuring that you stay semi-connected to reality because every time the TV comes on your baby will sense it and cry because he/she wants to be changed, fed, burped....   9. All of those milestones you committed to memory before your child's birth will be useless - your child will grow and achieve milestones at his/her own pace - he/she may be in a newborn onesie for less than a month or longer than 4 months   10. You will love your child more than yourself 21104

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2008-02-21T12:09:32-08:00