I need dating advice, what the hell, Gillian would tell me the honest truth!
So there is this guy I recently met, friend of a friend, a little on the
'emo punk rocker side' (yet happy and fun?) but one of those SUPER shy
types, we've made out in a drunken stupor, so I don't really take that
as much of an indicator of anything. He seems to be putting the ball in
my court, so what do you do about these shy ones??
-Anonymous
Well, well you came in the right direction sweetheart! Emo slash rocker type huh? Let’s dissect this dude. First of all, if you’re going to be a emo slash punk rocker, I do not think you can possibly be happy and fun unless you’re either prescribed to fantastic drugs or illegally bought them. My thoughts on this guy already is that he is just dressing emo slash punk rocker because he might be a. going through a phase (we all do) or b. looking for attention.
So my past experience with emo slash punk rockers is very disappointing, so I hope this does not turn you off. This dude I was ‘talking’ to seemed cool and all, then he got shy and, just like you, the ball was turned in my court. Now, I am very out going and fun, so I had no problem telling him how I felt, but then I realized I couldn’t be in a relationship like that. If you are putting all the effort into the relationship and he’s not, then it really doesn’t count as a relationship.
Communication is the number one factor in a relationship. If you don’t have communication, you got nothing. You need to ask yourself questions. Ask yourself, Could I see myself with this dude in 2 years? Am I the one that is going to be putting all the effort into the relationship? Is this worth it?
In order to have a perfectly stable relationship, you need to put in 50% and he needs to put in 50%. If he is putting the ball in your court, doesn’t that seem like an early sign of a weird relationship; a relationship where you are going to be making all the decisions. Shy ones are hard to break. I suggest you hang out with him when you guys are not taking 4 Vodka shots. Maybe go grab a bite to eat, get coffee, maybe even going to one of his punk rocker slash emo shows to show him you’re interested in him. Honestly, you need to communicate and talk to him. Build up each other’s trust. If your gut instinct really tells you that you like him, then go for it. I think you should try this out, whether it turns out good or bad. If it turns out bad then you can take an experience away and learn from this relationship; that is the only way you are going to truly find what you are looking for in terms of love.
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