2008-02-27T12:47:51-08:00
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Two Nimptompsicals tippling their way to muzzleheaded, nittypickled kerflummoxery. In other words, they're heading for a hangover.
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2008-02-27T12:54:23-08:00
Keep it simple. I've never had a hangover from sticking only to single malt scotch.
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<p><span class="size_3"><b>Take it from a veteran</b></span></p><p> </p><p>Look at my picture and you can see I'm no slouch when it comes to eating and drinking. Or in the immortal words of <i>Caddyshack</i>, " I shouldn't sell myself short.... I'm a <i>terrific</i> slouch!</p><p> </p><p>Hangovers take the fun out. The worst one I ever experienced made my mouth feel like it had been used as a dog run, my head feel like it was on the ground end of a napalm attack, and my stomach feel like a running sewer. Graphic enough for you?</p><p> </p><p>There's a reason younger people suffer more than experienced drinkers. Follow these tips from a veteran, and I promise you will eliminate hangovers.Most of these tips can be summarized in one phrase: KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid. </p><p><br></p>
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<p> </p><p><font size="3"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Avoid hangovers in the first place</span></font><br> </p><p> </p><ul><li>Drink one kind of alcohol and stick to it. Don't switch between wine, beer, mixed drinks, rum, tequila, cosmos, etc. </li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>Choose your drinks well in the first place. Stick to pure drinks like single malt scotches or high-end blends, single barrel bourbons, good vodka, Canadian blends, reduced chemical beers like European imports and microbrewery beers, and good wine.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>Avoid sweet and cheap booze. You're asking for trouble. Epecially avoid cheap rum and tequila, cheap whiskies, cheap wines, cheap brandies. High end tequilas can be as fine as a fine single malt scotch. </li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>DO NOT DRINK booze and sugar. Bad, bad, bad. Mixed drinks - rum and coke, booze with any kind of soda pop or other mixers, manhattans, even alcohol with fruit juices - screwdrivers, bloody marys... you're asking for trouble.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>Even fine brandy, port and sherry are meant for polite sipping. Drink them in large quantities and you'll pay the price.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>Drink lots of water before, during and after. Lots and lots of water.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>Stay as active as you can. Dance, dance, dance. Sex is good, too. Imagine the clever pickup line: "Hey, let's avoid a hangover. Come to bed with me." </li></ul><p> </p><p><span class="size_3"><b>What if it's too late? </b></span></p><p> </p><ul><li>If you can't avoid the hangover, if it's too late, and it's already the next morning, take a shot of vodka, drink plenty of water, and get protein into your body as quickly as possible.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>Pray to the porcelain goddess,*** and beg forgiveness.</li></ul><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p align="right"><i><font size="1">***For a picture of a porcelain goddess, go to next page --></font></i><br></p><p> </p>
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