In order to be respectful to a fellow human being, we first have to be aware of them… to acknowledge them… isn’t that correct? The dictionary uses the locution “consideration toward others” to depict courtesy.
Let’s contemplate on this for a mo, shall we? The more you progress towards being a pro driver, the easier it is to notice that the common concept of defensive driving is your feel of what’s happening beyond your car body borderline.
Most all the issues, minus one, that can convert you into an aggressive driver revolve around actions inside the vehicle. Cell phone calls, talking to passengers, text messages, listening to music… all this is what distracts you from paying attention to what’s happening outside your car.
Another component is your mind-set. Excogitate it, if you are pissed off about something, a vehicle is not the best spot to be and you should be self-aware enough to adjust your driving until you calm down, or not drive at all. Your measure should always be courtesy.
If you are respectful then a lot of good things are happening in that processor in your braincase. When you are respectful, you are focusing on what’s outside your car. You are also mindful to other drivers' demands, which is as decent as it gets. There are dozens of chances on the average ride around town to be respectful to fellow drivers.
They may not at all times detect your courtesy, but they normally do. In my extensive experience those minor benignities you pass out to complete strangers normally get returned to you by other complete strangers as if by magic… kind of cool actually. You unexpectedly discover other drivers allowing you into tight spaces when earlier they behaved like dorks… magic I warn you.
If you will merely risk to be as polite as possible to other drivers for five days, I predict you will be astounded. It actually alters your whole perspective on driving while at the same time distinctly setting you as a true jimdandy. Now, who among us doesn’t wish to be a jimdandy?
What winds up happening, is that you soon find yourself chasing opportunities to cut the other guy some slack, which makes you feeling proud of yourself. It also focuses you… pay attention here… focuses you outside of the bubble in your car. You are concentrating on what’s happening out there much more, when you risk to be respectful to other drivers.
This minor practice in human relations 101 can catapult you from a mediocre driver to a pro in no time. So… you if you seek to be a safe driver, it’s that easy… just cut the other guy some slack. Even if they don’t acknowledge it, you will be a good human being and a better driver for doing it.
Leave a Comment
annaliza at 11:43am on Apr. 14, 2008
3 months ago
I don't know how to drive until now Reply...
SquarePants at 10:06am on Mar. 5, 2008
5 months ago
So true. I've wondered what has happened to etiquette, yielding even when you have the right of way, and just common courtesy. Driving has really changed. "Defensive driving" has become an understatement. Where I live, I feels it's become more like "paranoid driving" because I no longer know what others are going to do. Reply...
bacitracin at 12:45pm on Mar. 4, 2008
5 months ago
Well said. Reply...
chantelg4 at 4:25pm on Mar. 3, 2008
5 months ago
Well, I'm not usually the driver, but when I do drive (in a blue moon), I exercise patience and courtesy most of the time. However, when I am rushed, I do feel a sense of road rage, although rarely. But you are right Misha, what goes around comes around, good or bad! Reply...
bacitracin at 11:56am on Mar. 4, 2008
If only everyone could be thoughtful when they're driving. It's hard to stay that way, though. Like meditation. Reply...
SylvieSylv at 3:15pm on Mar. 3, 2008
5 months ago
This is a really nice, well written blog, Misha. Thanks for putting it together. For a year and a half I drove Hwy 17 2x day for a 9 to fiveer & made some interesting observations. (It is a small but highly traveled highway between Santa Cruz and San Jose in California). Some days there would be much courtesy and ease on the road,which made for a very relaxing commute. It was as if all we drivers were somewhat telepathically linked and everyone understood the need for courtesy and safety. Other days some bonehead would be driving like a jerk and our whole zen-nish flow would be totally disrupted. That would then multiply and chaos would preside. Cars are deadly instruments when in angry, distracted or negligent hands, and what can happen in a split second cannot be undone. Safety is no accident. Courtesy is the gold standard. Reply...
at0m611 at 11:31am on Mar. 3, 2008
5 months ago
so true Reply...
Face Natural at 10:42am on Mar. 3, 2008
5 months ago
When you get into your car, it's your own little world. It's easy to forget basic manners. A little refresher course is always good. Thanks Misha! Reply...
David at 9:18am on Mar. 2, 2008
5 months ago
Beautiful. The other great insight is that in 90% of the time, how fast you drive makes no significant difference in how quickly you get there. Aggressive drivers multiply their risks but maybe gain a few seconds or a minute or so at most when driving in traffic or on city streets. Traffic and lights tend to even everything out. How often has a wild driver nearly clipped you changing lanes at 30 miles over the speed limit, only to have you catch up to him at the next light? Reply...
Misha at 7:53pm on Mar. 2, 2008
Thanks, David :)
Traffic lights definitely seem to even everything out - but I think for many people there is more to driving than just getting from point A to point B ;) Reply...
David at 7:23am on Mar. 3, 2008
Driving is an art form, fluid self-expression, a deeply satisfying 3D game, an ongoing simulation of primal navigation, a contest, a zen journey that is more than its destination, and as you say a test of civility, a kind of magic, a means to unleash karma, and pay it forward. It is mastery over machineries of time and space and momentum and at the same time a test of your ability to acknowledge the humanity in our technologies, the ghosts in our machines. Sure it's more than getting from A to B... But it's also always nice to get there in one piece. Reply...
Misha at 8:22am on Mar. 3, 2008
Brilliant! Can't agree more :) Reply...
lb at 10:00am on Feb. 29, 2008
5 months ago
this is so dead on. I've noticed that how I drive (and subsequently my experience driving) relates heavily to my mood. If I just mind my own business and not worry about how fast I'm going as it relates to other people, it's fine. If I do notice those things I inevitably end up trying to edge out some other car and it's really unpleasant. Reply...
Misha at 7:49pm on Mar. 2, 2008
Yeah, you absolutely right :) And it's really hard to get those feeling under control and takes years to complete - but it is worth doing...
Thanks for stopping by :) Reply...