Crack
Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine
that!]
Something
Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No,
really?]
Police
Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now
that's taking things a bit far!]
Is
There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not
if I wipe thoroughly!]
Panda
Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What
a guy!]
Miners
Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing'
lazy so-and-so!]
Juvenile
Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See
if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War
Dims Hope for Peace
[I
can see where it might have that effect!]
If
Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You
think?]
Cold
Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who
would have thought!]
Enfield
( London )
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They
may be on to something!]
Red
Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You
mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man
Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery
Charge
[he
probably IS the battery
charge!]
New
Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't
they fat enough?!]
Astronaut
Takes Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's
what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids
Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste
like chicken?]
Local
High
School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw
Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals
are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy,
are they tall!]
And
the winner is....
Typhoon
Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Now
that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
We all need a good laugh, keep laughing it will
keep you young....
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