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One of the most breathtaking places on earth, a first trip to Oahu can be a bit daunting and confusing. Let me take a few minute of your time and point out some of my favorite things and some of the tricks I've learned so that you can hit the ground running—it's expensive to come to Hawaii, expensive to stay here. In these tight economic times you may as well make the best of your vacation investment by being a bit prepared. Let me make some suggestions about visiting Oahu logically and efficiently, to maximize your fun. There's nothing to see most of the flight in...just a lot of water and they'll have you pull the shades, anyway, to enhance the movie—so bring your laptops and DVDs--the movie is almost always, um, uninteresting to adults (except once when I flew home they showed Shrek) and what they load in the rental tablets isn’t much better.  Ask for seats near the electrical outlets, and be sure you have a power adapter (Best Buy/Comp USA; about $30) that fits airline outlets.  I'm serious--nobody's laptop lasts 6 1/2 hours and that flight is REALLY dull--especially if the plane is carrying more than the 3 FAA-mandated screaming babies. The only views come about 20 minutes before you land, when you’ll start to get views of Koko Head, Makapu’u Head and the Ko’olau Mountains. Then you fly right over the top of the crater at Diamond Head, turn directly over Pearl Harbor (giving a nice view of the Wai’anae Mountains) and land. All this is best seen from the starboard (right) side of the plane. See if you can arrange this. Otherwise, on port, while landing, you get spectacular views of Moloka’i Island (and possibly Maui and Lana’i, depending on weather), then Pearl Harbor, Diamond Head and the Ko’olau Mountains just before touch down. Most flights get into Honolulu about lunch time, but don't be tempted to eat at the airport...wait for Downtown or Waikiki...if you need a snack, there are Starbucks at the airport.   Nobody can prepare you for the planning tragedy that is Honolulu International Airport. You will be confused, just accept this, and follow the herds. Asking for directions can be daunting, too, because even though their family has been in the US for many generations, they still speak with a Chinese/Portuguese/Japanese/Filipino/Whatevers accent , or even pidgin, and you might find it a bit impenetrable until you adjust to it.   Chances are you’ll land a wee bit away from the baggage claim (BIG AIRPORT)…if Baggage Claim not on the floor right right below you, walk directly outside to the curb and wait for the Wiki Wiki shuttle (you cannot miss it, it’s the only passenger transport-type vehicle that will be on this road). “Wiki” in Hawai’ian means “fast” and this shuttle is government operated—just so you know ahead of time that it’s a lie. They say it twice to emphasize their deceitfulness. The Wiki Wiki will take you to the baggage area. Probably by Tuesday.   The car rental area is just ‘round the corner from baggage……but don’t go for the rental car yet. Go get your bags first; now, everybody go stand on the curb while someone gets the rental car…they will have to ride the shuttle to get the car, then navigate back to the curb for family—this bit will seem like other airports and is really quick, but it’s impossible to park and go inside and look for folks still waiting for bags. So...bags first, then car. Assuming you’re headed to Honolulu or Waikiki from the airport, follow the signs to the H-1 Freeway (it’s the Interstate…I know, I know: Interstate highways in Hawaii?). NOTE: Do not be deceived by names like “Farrington Highway” or “Nimitz Highway”—these are not highways, they are regular surface streets, jammed with strip malls and stop lights every 3 feet. Although this is Hawai’i, so they are SCENIC strip malls…At the airport, you are west of Honolulu and Waikiki, so you head east on the H-1.   If you are going to Waikiki, do not be deceived by mendacious City Planners who spent millions on signs telling you to take Exit 22 (Kinau to Waikiki) into Waikiki. Don’t do it. Wait for Exit 23 (Punahou to Waikiki). This is sooo important, I emblazon it in permanent ink, in large red letters on the cover of every copy of every Oahu map or guidebook I send to friends coming to visit! Oh, you will thank me for this tip.   Once in Waikiki, take a deep breath. This is Waikiki, man…lovely, eh? Find your hotel, park, check in, dump your luggage in your room (for about $20 tip you can get a bellhop to do all this for you) and walk across Kalakaua Avenue to the beach. Restaurants abound, snacks and bottled water are to be had at the ABC shops sprinkled liberally along the beach. No, really, there are at least 2 ABC stores in each block along the beach. Take OFF those shoes, dammit, and get your toes wet. If you didn’t apply sunscreen yet, it’s already too late; trust me, whatever tan you have isn't enough. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen.. Find the King David Kalakaua statue…this is where you leave your leis when you leave. Drink lots more water than you think you need—I’m serious about this—it’s hotter than you think and you are sweating more than you think. Hot? Drink water. Tired? Drink water. Euphoric? Drink water. Cranky? Drink water…   Really, by the time you check-in and eat lunch, you’ll be totally knackered from the trip—I wouldn’t suggest anything more strenuous than walking along the beach being a tourist and deciding where to eat dinner. Duke’s, Cheeseburger in Paradise, Oceanarium, Le Mer, Matteo’s and Arancino’s are wonderful. Planet Hollywood and the Cheesecake Factory are there for those who may be looking for something a bit more familiar to eat. The Sheraton Moana Surfrider and the Royal Hawai’ian are the most venerable and lovely old hotels on the beach—they have (waaaay spendy) good restaurants and you really should attempt to eat dinner in at least one…but they also have nice beachside bars with cool shade and serve excellent pupu’s (I know, I know…people ACTUALLY use that word here. I always giggle.) and they make a nice mid-afternoon recoupment spot.   Remember, directly after sunset it gets dark, immediately and within minutes, between 6 and 7 year round; when it’s dark, it’s DARK. Go home, go to bed. You’ve got busy times ahead. Honolulu's famous nightlife can wait another night until you are properly rested.  When planning activities on Oahu, the very first thing to bear in mind is: every American NEEDS to see Pearl Harbor and the Arizona--I'm not an overly “Rah! Rah! Patriot”, but it's sort of the American Hajj--also, it's free.  But this takes half a day, realistically--you have to drive to Pearl, park, get in line for tickets (free, but required) to take the boat to the Arizona, sit through the orientation movie (it's required and VERY interesting), then boat over and back, find car, drive back to hotel.  Now, your concierge may be able to offer you a tour with pre-booked ticket reservations--this also saves the pupule of driving in Honolulu traffic and parking at a major National Park plunked down smack in a residential section of town.  But it'll cost you--might be worth it.  You’ll see the harbor and Battleship Row from the airplane as you swing in to land...look how small it is! So much history in such a little space! So knowing that you WILL BE going to Pearl Harbor makes the rest of the plan fairly easy… Waikiki is all about the beach. Head’s up, Hawai’i is the cross roads of the world, playground of the beautiful people (‘swhy I’m here, right?)…you never know what you’ll see. A friend and I were once sitting in Duke’s sipping an afternoon ice tea when the bartender turned on the mic and said: “Guy here says he’d like to play a little guitar for you all…d’ya mind?” Nobody objected and it turns out it was Jimmy Buffet, in town for a couple concerts in the next week and he just wanted to play and sing a bit. This kind of thing happens here all the time. Hanging out on the beach, swimming, shopping--there is everything from the ticky-tacky tourist shops to the Ala Moana Mall—the most exclusive mall in America (oh, you really ought to just go…) along the beach in addition to inviting water and warm sand—enjoy Waikiki Beach, it's why you came.   Oddly, Waikiki Beach is mostly man-made—just look at those old-timey photographs—the only really robust sandy beach used to be right in front of the old Royal Hawaiian Hotel. Mostly, back in the day, this was a brackish-to-fresh water coastal swamp...in fact, Waikiki means “place where you race canoes in fresh water”.   I also recommend a drive AROUND the island…I won’t describe what to see and do, except generally—that’s why you buy a guidebook…but it’s really, really lovely. Now, I don’t care what your map says, the road long the West Coast through Wai’anae DOES NOT connect up with the North Shore road…the maps lie and there’s no way to get around the Northwest tip (Ka’ena Point) that doesn’t involve backpacking or paddling. Wai’anae is the most beautiful part of the island, but it's not terribly tourist-friendly to the west and north of Ko'olina.    So, want my advice? You ought to head East out of Waikiki on Kalakaua, which turns into the H-1 or Hwy 72 (depending on how you do this…don’t worry, keep the shore off your right shoulder and all roads merge) past Diamond Head (if you are on a compressed schedule or are not avid hikers, you probably can skip the not-quite-mandatory climb of Diamond Head) and through Hawai’i Kai. Haunama Bay, next, is the snorkeling mecca of Oahu. It’s crowded and unless it’s sunrise, you’ll never get a park—besides, the water is pretty murky and really, there's much better elsewhere, especially if you are going on to other islands.   From Haunama onward, you’re on the windward (rainy) side—in good weather, this is the most gorgeous place ever…beaches, breaches, beaches—all are parks, all are open to the public. Enjoy. Depending on your schedule, you might want to get a take-away lunch in Kaneohe to eat at either Kualoa or Kahana Bay Beach Parks. You may also wish to wait for lunch in the funky eateries of the surfing capital of the world, Oahu's famous North Shore. When you turn the corner at Kahuku and go past the Turtle Bay developments, you’re on the North Shore—although most of the touristy stuff is down at Sunset and Waimea. This is old-timey, ticky-tacky touristy stuff; every store needs paint, every restaurant looks poisonous, but it’s all wonderful. You will not get in the water here, OK? It’s just too violent…some of the biggest surf in the world occurs here but even when it’s flat the currents are monster. Hawai’i is the drowning capital of the world…the ocean is warm and seductive…there are better places for the novice elsewhere, hold your horses.   After North Shore you need to decide how you’re going back south to Honolulu/Waikiki. There’s really only one main road, but there’s lots of more “Old Hawai’i” secondary roads. Up on top of the island are fantastic views of both mountain ranges…lots of hiking, mountain biking but not much get-out-and-do that doesn’t involve dirt and sweat—if that's not your family’s kind of thing, head on back to town. The middle of Oahu was, up until a couple years ago, the pineapple-growing capital of the world—god knows what’ll be going on there when you get there, but Dole just walked away from its hundreds of thousands of acres of farms there.    You definitely want to plot a course back south that takes you either OVER the Pali at Nu’uanu, or past it, to see the view of Honolulu. The breath-taking view of Honolulu at night from The Pali Overlook is simply breath-taking, but is also an infamous tourist-getting-mugged spot—it's well-lighted, very public and mostly safe, just head’s up, OK?    There are several things to do on the North-Shore and the Central Highlands not-involving a circumnavigation trip. For instance, how about sunset at Sunset? This is unbelievable, beautiful, moving…but a long drive for a few minutes of glory unless you do dinner here as well. It makes a good end to the Pearl Harbor day or pre-dinner outing if you are going to the night show at the Polynesian Cultural Center at La’ie—built to subsidize LDS missionaries all over the Pacific, it is a great cultural recreation of Polynesian life and has a nice dinner show (think: Lilo and Stitch Meet Cirque du Soliel).   There are so many Kayak and Raft Adventures/Helicopter Tours/Submarine Rides/Deep Sea Fishing/Sail Boat Cruises/Dinner Cruises/ Surfing Lessons/Sunset Cruises/etc that it's impossible to cover them all here—this is what you have a hotel concierge for—they'll be glad to hook you up with the right activities at the right prices...just be leery of getting hooked into the whole time-share sales shtick—it is not necessary to waste half a day on a time-share tour to get decent prices on Oahu activities.   Having said all that, here's a list of my favorites you may wish to consider:    Manoa Falls Trail: short, easy hike through fo’real tropical jungle to an incredible waterfall…just outside Honolulu, easy and fast to get to.   Sea Life Park (Windward side)—swim with dolphins—great aquarium—rent a diving helmet and walk with the fish, or see it in the traditional way. Spendy but worth it.   Dolphin Quest—the better of the “Swim with dolphins” parks—but they get snotty about adults if it’s crowded (ALL children present, regardless of place in line, get in before ANY adult does).   Drive up Tantalus for nights lights of Honolulu…many people skip this and later regret it…it's right in Downtown and it’s very beautiful.   OK, OK, OK--you really DO have to schlep up Diamond Head--it's not as tall or as long as it looks--go in the morning, back to the car before 10. Take a lot more water than you think; apply sunscreen before you leave the hotel and frequently there after. MUST-TAKE-CAMERA! See that view? It really WAS worth the hike, huh?   Hike the Hawaiiloa Trail--Frankly, this is the finest trail for views and pure amazement in the state. If you are up for this, all or part of it is hugely wonderful--do you remember those scenes in Magnum PI where T.C. (the helicopter dude--how on earth did I remember that?) would race his chopper down along a knife-edged ridge then break away and flat sink down some impossibly steep slope covered with waterfalls and ferns and you thought it just had to be computer animation 'cause nothing could be that butt-puckering extreme and that heart-achingly beautiful? Nope, turns out those scenes were shot along the Hawaiiloa trail.   Sadly, there are some places you should not go in Honolulu and Waikiki..I'll be brief because it's so heartbreaking. AVOID Kapiolani Park, Honolulu Aquarium and the Natatorium at the east end of Waikiki--homeless village, drugs, crime and disrepair--'nuff said. Also, there isn't much for tourists to do in Wai'anae, and not much aloha for outsiders there, either.   Obviously there’s a great deal more to see and love on Oahu; if you don't get to it on this trip, you’ll just have to come back another time, eh?    For more information about visiting and touring Hawaii in general, and exploring the historic and cultural sites on the Big Island in particular, visit <a href="http://www.tourguidehawaii.com" mce_href="http://www.tourguidehawaii.com">http://www.tourguidehawaii.com</a> or <a href="http://www.tourguidehawaii.blogspot.com" mce_href="http://www.tourguidehawaii.blogspot.com">http://www.tourguidehawaii.blogspot.com</a>. For more information on Donald B. MacGowan, the author, go <a href="http://www.plaxo.com/profile/show/193274806748?pk=5bdb642e1777514011136c8844cfb6429e46e6c9" mce_href="http://www.plaxo.com/profile/show/193274806748?pk=5bdb642e1777514011136c8844cfb6429e46e6c9">here</a>. 28147

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2008-11-27T11:41:58-08:00